“Retired, Extremely Dangerous” is the secret behind the ambiguous title of the Robert Schwentke-directed adaptation of the popular graphic novel “RED,” created by Warren Ellis and Cully Hamner. Fitting, considering the average age of the film’s super spy task force kicking ass and literally taking names is 62.
Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich and Morgan Freeman once constituted the CIA’s most skilled and prolific death squad (yes, Dame Helen Mirren wielding a machine gun is as awesome as it looks) but have since retired to benign civilianhood. Retirement’s dearth of adrenaline-fueled assassinations, car chases and shootouts has forced the former black-ops agents to create excitement anywhere they can. Willis tears up his pension checks as they come giving him an excuse to talk to the pretty girl (Mary-Louise Parker) at the pension fund office. Freeman, now in an old folks’ home, fakes a malfunction in his TV set so he can scope out the nurse’s curves while she tries to fix it. And Malkovich, suffering from government-induced LSD side-effects, is permanently paranoid and perpetually making note of the smallest changes in his environment, while Mirren does her best Martha Stewart impersonation deflecting any inquiries that may reveal her bloody past.
Trouble is, these pasteurized heroes of Hollywood past hold a lot of classified information in their aging brains. Some of it which may be incriminating of nasty people in powerful positions. So when Willis is ambushed in the dead of night and barraged by a D-Day worthy flurry of bullets he slides effortlessly back into his super spy shoes, rounds up the old team and brings the full fury of 1980s espionage action movies to the doorstep of the offending party.
Almost nothing in “RED” is even in the ballpark of believable. Plot holes, timing inconsistencies and physical impossibilities abound. It’s better that way. But more importantly, witty dialogue, winning performances and the best action set pieces this side of “Inception” make “RED” better than just about any piece of entertaining fluff you’ll see this season.
Beyond the one-liners and sight gags, “RED” sports some surprisingly prescient subtext directed at the growing fanboy culture flooding the mainstream. The fact that “RED” is based on a comic book legitimizes the growing trend, albeit begrudgingly. But constant references to the ages of its stars and the prevailing defiant attitude of our heroes seems to be saying something like, “Yeah, you geeks rule the box office now, but don’t get too cocky or we’ll kick your asses.”
“RED” represents not a true changing of the guard, but a tepid acknowledgment of the shifting zeitgeist masked by a rip-roaring, espionage melee.
