Paul Bettany as the ass-kicking, vampire-slaying "Priest"
Critics can be a fickle bunch. Lavishing this, lambasting that. But with most films it’s relatively easy to predict the critical response. Originality, cohesiveness, perky dialogue and fleshed out characters get the O.K. Convoluted stories, dull characters and shameless wish-fulfillment fantasies are blasted. But since “Jaws” gave birth to the summer blockbuster in 1975, and that genre’s integration with B movie and exploitation sensibilities thereafter, schools of critical thought have diverged radically.
Such is how Justin Lin’s “Fast Five,” a stupid, stupid movie featuring the worst performance of the year, via Paul Walker, can charm critics with its gleeful inanity, but Scott Stewart’s silly but visually interesting “Priest” is readily dismissed with a faint, collective, critical shrug.
Considering their altogether different cinematic aim from serious artistic efforts, should we subject B movies and summer blockbusters to the same scrutiny? Modern critical theory says no. So do I. But the wild inconsistency in the evaluation of these films is baffling. “Priest” is the superior film artistically, and more successful in pandering to its intended audience.
Paul Bettany (“A Beautiful Mind,” “Legion”) is the titular “Priest,” one of a superhuman race of pious vampire-slaying warriors — a less mystical, but more overtly religious version of the Jedi in “Star Wars.” He lives in a muddled future world mash-up of Western, sci-fi, medieval and fantasy elements. With the help of his kind, humans have ostensibly won the ancient battle against savage, eyeless vampires. That is, until a half-priest, half-vampire, all cowboy super villain (Karl Urban) kidnaps a rural family’s daughter to bait Priest into embarking on a reckless rescue mission.
If you’ve seen John Ford’s 1956 Western classic “The Searchers” you know the story already. In fact, if you’ve seen a movie before, you should have no trouble predicting every plot turn. But “Priest,” which is an adaptation of a Korean graphic novel and revels in genre cliché, isn’t about originality. It’s about interesting landscapes, badass heroes fighting badass villains and cool special effects. All of which it delivers. And despite the silly dialogue and sometimes unbearable melodrama, it more than fulfills the measure of its creation. It even dares, albeit briefly and without much sophistication, to question the rationality of theocratic government. Good luck finding that in a “Fast” movie.
“Priest” is a B movie through and through. It’s got cheap thrills, train fights, beheadings, a Bible full of throwing stars and a cowboy-vampire-priest. What more could you possibly want?
