Even in today’s inch-deep culture of reboots, sequels, prequels, re-imaginings, and mindless explosion-fests it’s rare that a movie comes along unable to boast a single redeeming quality. Justin Lin’s, “Fast & Furious,” the fourth installment in the illegal street racing franchise, fills that assignment. Yes, “Ghost Rider,” was awful, but at least it had a cool title.
After years of exile in the Dominican Republic, Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) returns to the United States, where he is a wanted man, in order to investigate the death of Letty (Michelle Rodriguez), his one time love.
You may remember from a previous film that Toretto was arrested by FBI agent Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker), but allowed to escape, because apparently the bond over a mutual love of driving really fast is more important than law and order. No matter, O’Conner is back and is coincidentally put on a task force to track down Torretto as well as the powerful drug lord that is responsible for Letty’s death. You know the drill. He goes undercover, has to prove himself through dangerous street races, inexplicably crashes into various things, and through his rogue detective work eventually gets his man.
Walker’s acting is unbearable. A phoned-in performance from Keanu Reeves would have had more nuance. Diesel is clearly the most talented cast member, but Chris Morgan’s script is so awful that even Marlon Brando would have a hard time delivering a good performance.
Some might argue that films like “Fast & Furious,” have their place–that they harmlessly fill a niche. Who cares if the characters are developed or if there’s even a plot, it’s all just fun, right? I care, and the fact that $70 million worth of opening week moviegoers didn’t is deeply troubling. Why should we lower our standards simply because the filmmakers have lowered theirs? I’m not discounting the adrenaline pumping, popcorn-fun, action niche. It indeed, needs to be filled. But, “Fast & Furious” was neither adrenaline pumping nor fun. Though it did have me laughing from the start of the opening sequence.
I can’t recommend this film to anyone, but if you have an affinity for excessive and unrealistic explosions, cars popping wheelies to block bullets, Suge Knight/Vanilla Ice-style extortion, montages of greasy guys working on shiny cars, Mexican rap, Paul Walker acting furious, or Vin Diesel killing a guy with his car and then calling him a ‘pussy’ for getting run over, then you’ve probably already seen this movie.
The tagline on the poster reads: “New Model. Original Parts.” It should instead read: “Don’t Waste Your Time or Money On Me. I’m a Piece of Garbage.” That would have been much more helpful.
(1 out of 5 stars)
