2007′s “Transformers” was a mindless, tasteless, overly CGI-ed and under-plotted piece of explosion-driven schlock. Not a terribly good movie, but a reasonably good time nonetheless. It’s sequel, however, refuses to take its anti-intellectualism, anti-tolerance, anti-progress, anti-humanity, or anti-cinema lightly.

“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is the most aggressively bad movie I have ever seen. There may be passively worse films out there hampered by budget, time or resources, but no other film has ever managed to do so little with so much.

Director Michael Bay, not known for his subtlety, propels this mangled amalgam of badness to an unprecedented level of open disregard for characterization, emotional authenticity, basic continuity, moderation, balance, humanity or common sense.

If there was anything resembling a cohesive narrative this is the part where I would include a brief summary of the plot in order to set the stage and contextualize the critical evaluation to follow. But since I have so little to work with I’ll skip that part and attempt to explain my utter disdain for this piece of worthless refuse as clearly and concisely as possible.

The following are my categorized and enumerated arguments against “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen”:

1. Misogyny – Can you name one female character in this film that isn’t either unnecessarily and exploitatively gorgeous or a subhuman bumbling buffoon?  Yeah, neither can I.  It’s also readily apparent that Bay has never set foot on a college campus, despite what his Wikipedia page may claim.  Each female is a more grossly exaggerated adolescent male fantasy than the last.  And you’d be hard pressed to find any acknowledgment of the existence of textbooks.

2. Nationalism/Jingoism – This is the type of ignorantly nationalistic, America always knows best, type of film that will find it’s way into regular rotation in the collections of the likes of Bush and Cheney.  Other countries… what are those?  Well, according to Bay’s movie, if you’re not a white American male, the measure of your existence is only fulfilled upon being mercilessly ridiculed and subsequently destroyed.  And why did Sam Witwicky’s (Shia LaBeouf) parents go to France?  For no other reason than that it gives the filmmaker an excuse to make fun of the French, of course.  And why open your film with the indigenous inhabitants of an ancient underdeveloped nation?  So the giant space alien robots can have something insignificant to destroy, of course.

3. Racism -The two concept Chevy bots, Skids and Mudflap, don’t simply perpetuate black stereotypes, they revel in their mockery of what is portrayed as an idiotic and inferior race.  Their baffling inclusion in the film, combined with the fact that virtually all non-whites are either brutally murdered or depicted as savages, dimwits, or terrorists, culminates in perhaps the most explicitly racist film since D.W. Griffith’s “The Birth of a Nation” (1915).

4. Anti-intellectualism – I have no qualms with low-brow, action-driven concepts, or broad slapstick comedy. It all has its place.  But this piece of indulgent imbecility is an embarrassment to cognition.  Fart jokes, relentlessly crass and unfunny sexual references, and minorities being mocked and killed is what passes for comedy in this bizarro world.  “Revenge” is on such an elite level of awfulness that it may warrant inclusion in the Library of Congress as a singular catalyst of mass human de-evolution. It will likely be studied in film schools, and in anthropology and sociology classes for years as the top scholars in the world attempt to unravel the mystery of how one man’s demented vision can be so actively detrimental to the progress of life on earth.

5. Anti-humanity – Culture, after intelligence, is what scientists believe is the one great barrier between humans and the rest of the animal kingdom.  Art, language, mathematics, philosophy, and government are singular achievements in the history of life on earth.  We built the pyramids for crying out loud!  But Bay only sees these great religious and political testaments of mankind’s ingenuity and determination as nothing more than cool junk to blow up.  And following an unbearably cacophonous sequence of catastrophic destruction, mayhem, and unspeakable bloodshed, Megan Fox delivers one of the most inhuman lines ever uttered in the history of film.  Instead of having been rendered speechless, or commenting solemnly on the horrific and tragic loss of human life and history she can only smile and say to her boyfriend, “It took all this to say you love me.”  What?!  This is a protagonist?  Nothing human could utter something that insensitive in the wake of such mind-boggling destruction and horror.

Maybe it’s all a dream. Or better yet, maybe Sam and Mikaela are secretly decepticons.  Hello trilogy! It’s hard to say if “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” stands alone as the worst movie ever made, but it’s definitely in the discussion.