“The Ugly Truth” is a remake.  No, not officially, but does it really matter any more? Despite our best efforts in the critical and otherwise sane community to fortify our collective intellect against unnecessary and blatantly opportunistic remakes, sequels, and prequels, Hollywood not only defiantly presses on with its war against originality but ups the ante with a film that is indeed ugly, but fails to deliver any semblance of truth.

Katherine Heigl (“Knocked Up,” “27 Dresses”) stars as Abby, a control-freak producer of a local morning news show in Sacramento. In a move of ratings-driven desperation the show adds a dating advice segment hosted by crass, misogynistic know-it-all, Mike (Gerard Butler), which instantly becomes a hit.

Abby and Mike initially bicker like little children, of course, but she reluctantly relents and weirdly allows him to become her dating mentor.  After a series of strange, misplaced, unfunny, clichéd, and offensive exercises in banality she finally learns that women are better off as brainless sluts and the two of them live pleasurably ever after as a pair of despicable, mismatched sex buddies.

Both Heigl and Butler star in the most unlikeable roles of their careers, adding only minimal and largely unbelievable characterization to gross gender stereotypes.

The deeply troubled screenplay written surprisingly (surprising because of its overt anti-female agenda) by three women, Karen McCullah Lutz, Kirsten Smith, and Nicole Eastman, is riddled with social and emotional inconsistencies and leaves one to wonder if these gals have ever actually seen a morning news show, worked in any kind of office, or been on a single date.  Is it too much to ask that a narrative simply maintain the standard of plausibility framed within its own universe?  Apparently so.

Tinseltown’s remake culture has reached a tipping point, wherein even the endangered breed of films billed as original properties are, in fact, remakes.  Robert Luketic’s “The Ugly Truth” is a shockingly lazy remake of every bad romantic comedy upchucked by the studio system to capitalize on the ever-shrinking lulls between the gluttonous feasts of anti-intellectualism known as blockbusters.  There is actually a scene where Abby goes on a date and Mike follows her so he can secretly coach her through a discrete earpiece.  No, this isn’t a “Saved by the Bell” episode, and no, I’m not making this up.

“The Ugly Truth” is a thinly-veiled demographic-courting product that insults men, women, goldfish, and anyone else who dares to strive for humanity, believability, or gender equality in film.