ByBesides Brando, perhaps the greatest thing to ever happen to cinema is the advent of the robot. Humanity has been obsessed with idea of sentient beings made of metal and wires either taking over the planet or supplanting the dog as man’s best friend. And so, in honor of these, our would-be rulers, I have compiled a list of my favorite big screen bots.
Note: I am aware that many will argue that androids, cyborgs, replicants and robots are all not the same. While I agree, it would be far too extensive of a project to categorize them as such for the purposes of this article. Consequently, the term ‘robot’ as used here is all inclusive.
5. Optimus Prime, Transformers (2006)
Despite Michael Bay’s best efforts, Optimus Prime, the fearless leader of the elite robotic alien fighting force, the Autobots, manages to shine through this bungled mess of a film. Prime manages to be both an unabashed badass and a caring, responsible father figure at the same time. Plus, I don’t think there has ever been a cooler name than Optimus Prime, bot or human.
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4. R2D2, Star Wars (1977)
The lovable, practical little droid who always manages to have the right key to disarm the Empire’s devious weapons in just the nick of time. And even though he doesn’t have a face, he has a way better personality than his gold-plated buddy, the annoyingly anal C-3PO.
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3. T-800 Terminator, The Terminator (1984), Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)
The role in James Cameron’s brilliant films that immortalized Arnold Schwarzenegger as a leather-jacket clad, sunglass wearin’, sawed-off shotgun shootin’ badass. Sent back in time to kill the mother of the human resistance against the machines, the T-800 Terminator is as wickedly cool as they come. Programmed in the first film to kill Sarah Connor, this deadly, soulless machine comes back seven years later to protect her son, John. And in process learns what it means to be human. Awesome.
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2. HAL 9000, 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
A chilling reminder that machines, as human-like as their intellect may become in the future, will always be cold, soulless, unapologetic instruments. And never, under any circumstances, let this clever little murderous bot see your lips move when you’re plotting to destroy it.
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1. Johnny 5, Short Circuit 2 (1988)
The robot Pixar’s Andrew Stanton ripped off for “Wall-e.” Johnny 5 is a brilliant, friendly, naive, fast reading, trusting, helpful former military super-weapon that just wants to live his life in peace. 1986’s “Short Circuit” was fun, but its sequel, “Short Circuit 2″ is a masterpiece of 80s cheesy hilarity. And not only that, it’s a beautiful allegory for the injustices and inequality that still plague the minorities of this country today.
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Honorable Mentions: T-1000 Liquid Metal Terminator 2, Data Star Trek franchise, MechaGodzilla Godzilla vs. MechaGodzilla, Bishop Aliens, Gort The Day the Earth Stood Still, Paulie’s Pet Robot Rocky IV, Ash Alien, Evil Bill & Ted Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey Pris and Roy Batty Blade Runner
